| Memoirs of a White Boy, written in cold blood with a toothpick |
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James' Best Friends Space Profile
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[22 May 2012|08:14pm] |
At the same time, extremely flattering and totally emasculating.
The problem with being a lone agent of chaos is that everyone just assumes you're crazy, that you're acting on some uncontrollable impulse. If I walked into a Waffle House and proceeded to cover my body in shaving cream and say things to folks like, "Fuck hair, right? They call it shaving cream, but it doesn't shave you. You have to do it yourself," people would probably just process some kind of WTF reaction. If there's anything I've ever wanted to find in life, it's a well-dressed partner to interject with, "Excuse me, did you say fuck hair? I actually like hair. It keeps you warm!" The reaction would hopefully become something more like Why do they live their lives like this? Why do I live my life the way I do? Even if it didn't, it would still be more fun to have someone to create a memory with, instead of just reporting the weird things I do to my boring-ass friends, leaving them to wonder if I'm just lying anyway. Fuck it, let's just watch TV.
It would also probably be fun to have sex with somebody.
Love, James
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[10 Oct 2011|08:39pm] |
I have a goal to make a miniature backyard recording studio (whenever I live on a good property) made out of cement and beer bottles and soundproofed with portable sheets of egg cartons attached to corks placed in the mouths of the bottles. The corks could also be modified into special fixtures that allow microphones to be placed anywhere along the walls and ceiling. This Dagobah-style hut would have a separate control room that also functions as a study, with bookshelves and desks that conform to the walls. I'd like to save up money so that I could install solar panels and a battery back up system.
Because of my accident, I at least know that I won't be going anywhere for six months if my driving privileges are completely revoked. I'm suddenly in a job-finding mood. I think I could save a lot of money without having to pay gas or rent for the next few months, and I've finally thought of some things I'd like to try in my young adult life that might require a few thousand dollars and six months of precise research/planning.
Love, James
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[30 Aug 2011|07:08pm] |
This glimpse that we've been given of each other as lovers has shown me we were more than just a couple uncles left alone with each other.
I also thought we'd make a great father and mother had we adopted.
I'm glad I had this talk with you, brother.
Love, James
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[13 Jun 2011|01:53am] |
Drake is mentioned in the 2010 television movie Degrassi Takes Manhattan, making him one of two Degrassi actors (along with Shenae Grimes) who exist within the series' fictional universe independently of their characters. --Wiki
Love, James
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[22 Feb 2011|03:14pm] |
The first impression I got about my renewable energy technology teacher was that he's an alcoholic. Now, that's the kind of assumption that goes into my "Perception of a human being as a fictitious character of my own construction" file, as opposed to the "How I really feel about a person and use information to affect judgment" file. I would never make an assumption like that and judge someone for it. However, it would make me laugh out loud if the notes he puts on Blackboard include things like this following analogy for silicon doping:
Doping
Example: Jack Daniels and Coke.
Coke represents silicon.
Jack Daniels represents dopant.
Coke alone is NO INTOXICATION
Silicon alone is NO POWER GENERATION
Addition of Jack Daniels to Coke will induce intoxication. The lower the amount of Jack Daniels added, the longer time to induce intoxication. As more Jack Daniels is added, the faster the intoxication.
As more dopants are added to silcon (sic), the more power is generated.
Doping is altering a substances properties to achieve desired results. Jack Daniels to Coke to achieve intoxication.
I've decided that this is no longer a journal for writing what I want, but for what I've done. It will also include things I find amusing or interesting and probably a yearly examination of the worsening plight of my romantic life.
Love, James
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[10 Jan 2011|10:10am] |
I somehow stumbled on the fact that Marc Summers has obsessive compulsive disorder. Then I thought of how hosting a show like Double Dare could affect someone with that illness and how cruel it was to have someone like that shouting at a bunch of kids trying to make order out of frantic, stressful chaos. It really made me feel for the personal triumph of Marc Summers, and that's the kind of thing I feel pretty often and don't share with the world. But hey, every now and then I'll tell you about it.
Love, James
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| Lordy Done Blown My Soul Round Somethin' |
[11 Oct 2010|11:15am] |
http://www.purevolume.com/JamesSupersecretforfriendsonlyDemoPage/overview
So I remembered I had a PureVolume account. I just put up a Gospel style song I wrote. I'm just going to use it to put up demos and songs of me having fun and not really tell anyone about it but I'm telling you guys about it because you're special. I've been feeling the urge to just write songs and record crude versions of them just to have something to work on later. I'm encouraging myself not only to record songs, but to record multiple takes of them.
I want to try the free online singles club idea I had. But instead of putting out material by the same thing every other week, I thought I would start a fake record label and just put out singles as a bunch of different artists. I'd also release singles for my friends if they wanted to.
The album tag that I give to the demos indicates which fake artist they are. This song was performed by "Black Muse," the moniker I use when I shameless(ful)ly rip off black music.
The other reason why I put this up is because I had the idea that we should start a big loose online production team. I've sorta talked about it with Korey. Just based on the pseudo-talked about desire to do something with music and possibly work with each other that a lot of us have, I think we could encourage each other by sharing work and elaborating on it. We could flesh out simpler ideas into full, lush productions. I think it would be fun to make songs for other projects, or to just put out our own singles and albums. As we've talked about it, we refer to this group as Da Beat Brudders A (pronounced "Da Beat Brudders, Eyyyyyy!" with a Chicago accent). We don't have to set any restrictions on the kind of work we do, but I think we should all work thematically towards using the music to make homoeroticism seem really macho and cool, veiled in intense themes of brotherhood and male bonding.
So yeah, I plan to put demos up pretty frequently. If you don't check I'll say what I've done on here every now and then. If you hear something you'd like to use, feel free to chop and screw it and tell us all about it.
Love, James
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[04 Aug 2010|07:37pm] |
I saw Boris a couple of nights ago. My crush on their lead guitarist has doubled in intensity. I've never seen Cat's Cradle so full of fog before. Ted's friend grabbed the set list from one of the technicians, complete with intricate and emotional lighting cues. The most common lighting cue was Present gorgeousness with a variety of colors, followed by Present stadium-like bigness and gorgeousness and Use radial beams if equipped. My favorites were Give discotheque-like ascension feel and Present euphoric denouement.
Love, James
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| GUNMAN! |
[15 Mar 2010|07:35pm] |
This is my first contribution to Project Comic. I thought I'd just post here and hope that it makes its way to the website via someone with posting access.
Pretty much everything I do is on yellow legal pad. This doesn't really reflect how I like to work with the medium (typically I like to use the lines in a significant way and use blue pen), but it's an idea I've had for a while that I drew out of a desire to illustrate a superhero character.
More coming from Deuce MacKenzie, Sketch Armstrong, Boss and Cat, and Bad Meat.
I think looping has revealed a hidden impulse for me to rap. Not quite rapping, but a sort of rap singing that just kind of comes out whenever I get lyrical ideas. I also think I can do it without sounding like a poser, but only in small bursts. I'm just excited because my love of rhythm has opened up an outlet of self-expression I'd never really considered. It just goes to show that the more I practice, the more I discover, which is good because I've been about 99% inspiration since I got home from college.
Love, James
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| Fun With Shaving |
[31 Aug 2009|11:45am] |
 
Beard is gone, completely. I look like a shaggy-haired baby face Huey Louie newsie boy. Basically.
Love, James
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| Positive Stress |
[21 Dec 2008|03:55pm] |
Ted and I put a band together with the goal of putting on a show in less than a week (on my birthday). We were underprepared and forced inspiration yielded some not so great songs, but we still pulled it off pretty well. And considering that we've only had a week, I think we have a lot of potential. If we consistently are half as productive as we've already been, we'll have loads of songs, probably better ones. I benefited from performing for an audience, albeit a small and personal one, and also forcing a couple of new songs and developing a couple of old ones. In less than a week, I've produced the most successful band I've ever been in to date. We plan to continue, and we're probably going to have practice again very soon. The best work environment is constant business.
Love, James
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| Great Night |
[11 Dec 2008|12:57pm] |
Last night, my brother told me that David Byrne was going to play Ovens Auditorium at 8pm. Upon further research, it was part of the "Songs of David Byrne and Brian Eno" tour. Good God!
It was a totally different show than the one I saw in Atlanta four years ago. He had a smaller band, but with dancers doing some really bizarre choreography. I was seated next to a dwarf, so when I moved a lot, I felt like I was being rude. I'm upset that I was too shy to move to the aisle for probably my only ever opportunity to dance to "Cross-Eyed and Painless," but I got up in the middle of the best live version of "Once In a Lifetime" I've heard to date and never sat back down. Before the second encore, I rushed to the stage. He rewarded me by playing "Air", putting on a tutu over his all white outfit, and cheating the night's theme to play "Burning Down the House." Heaven! (he played that too).
I went home and dreamed that the entire world was throwing a party. I was in Greensboro, Tokyo, New York, Hollywood, Las Vegas, and Aruba at the same time. All of my friends were there. There were people of all cultural makeups dancing and you could hear the music anywhere you went. An Asian teenager tried to rob me, but I caught him in the act and kissed him on the lips. Nobody laughed and I was really embarrassed. Stewie and I went out to buy some really awesome clothes and we didn't have to pay a thing. We saw Nick Cave perform a show which he ended by being sucked into a vortex and converted into fecal matter. There was a beach with a constant sunset and torches burning all over. The world's most beautiful waitress served us lobster and roast pig. I jumped off of a hundred-foot diving board and everybody got laid. I was drunk the whole time.
I think that's what paradise is, the best dream ever.
Love, James
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| Thanksgivingreen |
[27 Nov 2008|11:57pm] |
This is the third consecutive year when I have strangely and unexpectededly happened upon marijuana on Thanksgiving. Something about this holiday and this drug share some cosmic bond with me. My mother, my aunt, and I got hammered in the hotel room. After they shortly passed out, I went for a late night walk on the beach. I walked toward a bar because I heard music playing, but before I got there, these fat, thug-ass Arubian gangsters offered to sell me weed. I knew that there was risk involved. They could've tried to rob me, sold me something laced (it is the Caribbean), tried to sell me coke (they tried), kidnapped me like that blonde-headed white girl, etc.... But I remember hearing over and over that there is barely any crime on Aruba, which I pretty much interpreted as People deal drugs peacefully. Also, I hadn't really relaxed on this vacation yet and having earlier today become a certified open water scuba diver, I felt like a badass risk taker with a cause to celebrate. So eventually, I excepted it. I made about a half-mile roundtrip to find papers and a lighter. The papers were too big, so I ripped them in half, rolled a tight, skinny little joint, and smoked it on the beach right in front of the water. The view was great. It was some really mellow, euphoric feeling stuff. I relaxed there for a long time and came across a vintage Space Invaders machine on the way back to the hotel. I lost all of my lives immediately.
Love, James
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[02 Nov 2008|01:56pm] |
I saw Man Man on Wednesday. The night before, I went to Chapel Hill to see Deerhoof. They were both great, as always. How lucky am I to see my two favorite live bands on consecutive nights? And how awesome is it that when a band I like finally decides to play somewhere in Charlotte, it turns out to be Man Man? I feel so blessed.
I forgot my camera both times.
I dunno how, but I managed to see Ted, Liz, and Steph on the same night. I've never been able to juggle friends like that. I spent all day listening to people say, "James, it's great to see you!" and it felt awesome.
At Man Man, I said hi to a girl I was sure was Elizabeth Boone. She corrected me in a much deeper voice and I was stunned. They looked almost exactly alike.
I'm thinking about going back to Chapel Hill tonight for Deerhunter and Times New Viking. I wanna go, I just don't want to do all of that driving.
Love, James
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| Re: The Mexican |
[14 Oct 2008|04:14am] |
Some of you might recall an unexplained post a few months ago in which I refer to "The Mexican." This is a song I just wrote to try to capture my fear of actually becoming insane or schizophrenic at that time, only in the song it actually does happen in the end. It's rough, and on paper it sounds annoyingly sing-songy, but the lyrics work more effectively when I sing them all slow-like. There's a bridge missing, I feel, but here's the meat of what I've written.
"Carlos"
Lost my memory
So I asked my company
How we wound up suddenly
Somehow surrounded by the sea
Being kept afloat
By our bodies as a boat
I got water in my throat
While I was chewing on the rope
I hope
I don't choke
Something someone said
Helped me finally find my head
But I still felt soaking wet
I thought I'd dry off in my bed
Someone in the air
Ran his fingers through my hair
I was genuinely scared
I thought the Mexican was there
Sitting
In my chair
Had I gone insane
When I called out for his name?
Is it Hector or Jose?
"Come te llamas?" Pregunte
Something wasn't right
When I heard a voice, I cried
It was coming from inside
I was so scared I could've died
"Carlos,"
He replied
Love, James
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| Pitchfork Update |
[24 Jul 2008|05:37pm] |
AJ alerted me to the video of Dizzee Rascal playing "Sirens" and how I'm the first frontally visable audience member. Zenon is immediately to my right.
Check it out.
Ok, I don't look too energetic, do I? He told us to jump and I was merely standing on and off of my tippy-toes. Well, festivals are tough, SO BACK OFF!
Love, James
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| PSH.001: The Mexican |
[23 Apr 2008|11:18pm] |
The Mexican lives in my house, but I've never seen him. He's stealthy. I'm sure he's seen me, though. He always knows where I am and I usually know where he is. He fancies the kitchen, the sun room, my mother's closet, and the alcove under my basement stairs. He means no harm and as far as I know, he's unarmed. He's not trying to rob us, just live off of us. He's a manifestation of North Carolina's overly competitive living environment, expecially with the most rapidly increasing Hispanic population out of any state in the union. He's also the first metaphysical externalization of my personal demons. I'm sure he showed up in the first place because I started locking the doors.
The other day, I was standing in the kitchen when I heard a shuffle coming from the dining room. I would've belted out a tongue-in-cheek "Como se llama?" had I not been scared to death that I might actually hear someone say, "...Carlos."
Love, James
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| A Night at the Movies! |
[20 Feb 2008|09:30am] |
How about a follow up to that last vague entry? This kid's been on the internet for three days and he has a video for each of them (accompanied by hilariously long, unnecessary descriptions).
Horny In My Dorm
I think honestly that the title of this one tells you everything you need to know, but, well, I was horny and my roommate was out of town, sooo i had the room to myself all weekend and THIS is what happens, when that happens.
Fourth Cumshot of the Night
So I fucked this girl I'm sorta crushing on three times earlier tonight, then later came a small room party which meant for me a couple bowls and maybe three or four Rolling Rocks...hours passed, people left, I cleaned up and was left swimming with thoughts of the girl again and needed to get off. Sorry the cumshot's pretty weak but it was very late so I didn't have time to edge it and as I said before, I've already cum three times tonight so I'm pretty wiped. Still, when you gotta cum you gotta cum and I just couldn't get her sweet vulva out of my head. (Edit: could he have ended that on a creepier note?)
A Jack in 3 Shots
I actually edited this session sort of, thus the cryptic title "A Jack in Three Shots." Today I got incredibly horny taking nude photos of my fuckbuddy-stoner-friend Katie and had to make love to her; around 2 am people left, it's 2:40 now and my roommate's still on the phone with his gf (cheers, AJ!) so I now present three different angles of me jacking off over the past half hour or so. I get into it around Act 3 and end up cumming at the close of the final act, but it's not that great...would be better if I edged more or stopped having sex during the day. But that's not likely to happen anytime soon : ) PS- listen for a police siren somewhere around 1:08 (approx)
That's nothing. You should read the comments.
"Who are you Matt Panfil?"
-AJ Brown, Matt's roommate and friend of 12 years.
Love, James
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| More Shit I've Done |
[03 Dec 2007|08:27pm] |
These are drastically scaled down. The actual ones are 10"x15", so bare with the hard to read cartoon text.
The season finale. Better than average. I get ass and a fist in my face. I also improv a Stallionaires reference, which I lacked the foresight to know how dated that reference would be by now.
Love, James
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| Dear Sweet God! |
[13 Nov 2007|09:01am] |
This is too hysterical.
Duane Chapman (Dog the Bounty Hunter) on Hannity & Colmes
Dog the Bounty Hunter is a racist! Not just any racist, but a hardcore, ignorant, pathetic, dumbass racist who thinks that his haircut is still socially acceptable. Well it's not, Mr. Chapman. And neither is your dumbass haircut...I mean your outdated interpretation of race relations. This makes "nappy-headed hoes" sound like the ill-informed slip of the tongue that it actually was.
Best Quote: "I've always taken pride to be the white guy that can talk to the black people. That can refer to them truly as...*sob* a brother from a different mother *sob*."
Or maybe: "I pulled Tucker out and I thought we was dead. He was all blue and I laid him to the side. I kept pulling and of course the placenta was there and I thought, 'Oh no, she has twins and this one is deformed!'"
Come on, how hilarious is this? He must've had his ass pounded in prison.
Love, James
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